SELF-AWARENESS

“Self is the powerhouse which facilitates the overall development of an individual.”
SELF-AWARENESS
It means knowing what we are feeling in the moment, and using those preferences to guide our decision-making; having a realistic assessment of our own abilities and a well-grounded sense of self-confidence. It includes-
Ø Emotional Awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and how they affect our performance, and use our values to guide decision-making.
Ø Accurate Self-Assessment: A candid sense of our personal strengths and limits, a clear vision of where we need to improve, and the ability to learn from experience.
Ø Self-Confidence: A strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities.
Self-awareness serves as an inner barometer, gauging what we are doing, is, indeed, worthwhile. Feelings give the essential understanding. If there is a discrepancy between action and value, the result will be uneasiness in the form of guilt or shame, deep doubts or nagging second thoughts, queasiness, and the like.
The more you understand self-awareness the more you recognize it’s critical role in governing your capacity to be a lifelong learner, and open to change and capable of great performance. Great performance is not the preserve of the exceptional but is within the grasp of every normal human being. The need for self awareness and its by products, openness and great performance at this time in human history is huge and urgent.
Our world, our business organizations and the people within them, despite the entire technological prowess available seem to be confronting problems they cannot solve. It’s like Einstein said you cannot solve problems created by one set of self awareness with the self awareness that created the conditions in the first place.
Most of our concerns – from personal issues, to social, business, economic, and environmental issues – stem from human actions and decisions. These arise from human thinking, human feelings and human values which in turn are influenced by our beliefs that happiness comes from what we have and do, and by our need to shore up an ever-vulnerable sense of self. This in a sense is one way of talking about self-awareness, and the problems inherent in self-awareness. Psychological issues associated with these issues lie at the heart of our problems. The growing crises we observe around us are symptoms of a deeper inner crisis – a crisis of self-awareness in our day-to-day actions that we call self-awareness in action.
The crisis has been a long time coming. It started thousands of years ago when human evolution made the leap to self-awareness, when consciousness became aware of itself, this is what self awareness is. Gradually our self-awareness evolved until today it has reached the point at which we have a clear sense of being a unique self, distinct from others and the environment. However, this sense of self is the source of all the dilemmas we all face, and on a larger scale the dilemmas the world faces. Many of the crises of this age are crises of self-awareness.
According to a saying, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” The less aware we are of what we want in life, the more lost and the lesser satisfied we would be. Any disharmony between what we have and what we actually want will act as an emotional drag, stirring feelings that may sabotage our efforts, and even result in ill health.
Self-Awareness offers a sure rudder for keeping our decisions, both personal and professional, in harmony with our deepest values.
These are some of the many areas it covers:
Ø Your wishes and desires - what do you want in your life
Ø Do you know your strengths?
Ø Do you know your weaknesses?
Ø What motivates you and makes you happy?
Ø What do you want to change about yourself or about your life?
Ø Considering your achievements so far
Ø How do you relate to others and is this socially acceptable or beneficial to you?
Ø The things stopping you from achieving your wishes
Ø How do you need to improve as a person?
Ø Thinking about your most important beliefs and values
Ø Think about the value you see yourself as having as a person?
There are many other factors that perhaps could be added. The last one above has a direct relation to your sense of self-value and self-esteem.

Why is self-awareness important?
If you want to change your life in any way you need to know yourself before you can act. Let's say you are unhappy or indecisive, you need to know what you need to do to head in the right direction and you can't do that until you know the right direction to move in.!
In addition, being self-aware will mean that you will be better able to choose a suitable career which will satisfy you. Nowadays, there are certain skills that distinguish star performers in every field, from entry-level jobs to top executive positions. The single most important factor is not the IQ, advanced degrees, or technical expertise, but the qualities like self-awareness, self-confidence, and self-control; commitment and integrity; the ability to communicate and influence, to initiate and accept the change etc. These qualities are at a premium in today’s job market. The higher up the leadership ladder you go, the more vital these skills become, often influencing who is hired or fires, passed over or promoted.
In a survey of what employers look for in entry-level workers, specific technical skills are less important than the underlying ability to learn on the job. Listening and oral communication, adaptability, personal management, confidence, motivation to work towards the goals, interpersonal effectiveness, cooperativeness, leadership potential etc. are some of the other skills that are looked for by the employers.
We all possess the potential to improve our skills. In Steve Wonder’s words, “We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.”
Self-awareness can enrich your life because you can then move closer to living your values and realizing your dreams. Also, when you have identified the things that make you happy or motivate you can bring more of those things into your life and make priorities based on that which is important to you.
Becoming self-aware does not mean being selfish though. Discovering the inner you will enable you to seek the opportunities to give more of yourself to others and this will have mutual benefits in your relationships as well as helping to build your self esteem and confidence as you become more true to yourself in every aspect of your life.

EMOTIONAL AWARENESS
People with this competence-
Ø Know what emotions they are feeling and why.
Ø Realize the links between their feelings and what they think, do, and say.
Ø Recognize how their feelings affect their performance.
Ø Have a guiding awareness of their values and goals.
The awareness-of how our emotions affect what we are doing-is fundamental emotional competence. Lacking this ability, we are vulnerable all the time. Such awareness is our guide in managing our unruly feelings, relationships with people, fine-tuning our on-the-job performance, keeping ourselves motivated, tuning in with accuracy to the feelings of those around us, and developing social skills, including those essential for leadership and teamwork.
Some ways of developing emotional awareness are-
Ø Being attentive to our feelings: Feelings are always with us, but we are too seldom with them. We typically become aware of our emotions only when they build up and boil over. But if we are attentive, we can experience them at subtler levels long before they emerge so strongly.
Ø Retrospect: The rhythm and pace of modern life give us too little time to assimilate, reflect, and react. We need time to be introspective, so that we are able to follow our inner voice that acts as a tool for building conviction in the choices we make, and thus help us navigate through life.
Ø Reserve time for solitary reflection: It means putting aside for the time-being all other goal-oriented activities and doing something that opens our minds to a deeper, quieter sensibility. It can be anything, a hobby, like painting, or perhaps poetry, which will help us express our emotions, and at the same time, rejuvenate our minds.

ACCURATE SELF-ASSESSMENT
People with this competence are-
Ø Aware of their strengths and weaknesses.
Ø Reflective, learning from experience.
Ø Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning, and self-development.
Ø Able to show a sense of humour and perspective about themselves.

Before you can lead others, before you can help others, you have to discover yourself. Being blind to our flaws, and even our abilities can put our personal and professional life at risk. Everybody has weaknesses, what makes a difference is learning from one’s mistakes and shortcomings. The people who are unsuccessful are less open to acknowledging their faults, and often rebuff people who try to point them out. This resistance and rigid attitude means that nobody could try to change them. We all have a tendency towards denial, en emotionally comforting strategy that protects us from the distress that acknowledging the harsh truth would bring. Defensiveness takes many forms: minimizing the facts, filtering out crucial information, rationalizations and good excuses- anything to rob the facts of their emotional truth. The first step in improving one’s performance is to identify the need for improvement. There can be a limit to one’s abilities, but successful people are aware of their limits-know where they need to improve, or they know to work with someone else who has the strength they lack. The second thing which can be very hepful in self-assessment is honest, constructive feedback about how we are doing, especially about or lapses. It is seen that people who intentionally seek feedback and want to know how others perceive them, go on to become successful later in life, because their self-awareness helps them in a process of continuous improvement. Once we get the feedback, it lies upon us to take the criticism positively, and not to become defensive.

SELF-CONFIDENCE
People with this competence-
Ø Present themselves with self-assurance, have “presence”.
Ø Can voice views that are unpopular and go out on a limb for what is right.
Ø Are decisive, able to make sound decisions despite uncertainties and pressures.

Without self-confidence, people lack the conviction that is essential for taking on tough challenges. Self-confidence gives us the requisite self-assurance for plunging ahead or stepping in as a leader. For those who lack self-confidence, every failure confirms a sense on incompetence. The absence of self-confidence can manifest itself in feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, and crippling self-doubt. Extreme self-confidence, on the other hand, can look like arrogance, especially if the person lacks social skills. Self-confidence should not be confused with brashness; to have a positive impact, self-confidence must be aligned with reality. For this reason lack of self-awareness is an obstacle to realistic self-confidence. Highly self-confident people can seem to exude charisma, inspiring confidence in those around them. They typically see themselves as efficacious, able to take on challenges and master new skills. They believe themselves to be the catalysts, movers and initiators, and feel that their abilities stack up favourably in comparison to others’. From such a position of inner strength, they are better able to justify their decisions or actions, staying unfazed by opposition.
It is self-confidence which gives the strength to make a tough decision or follow a course of action one believes in despite opposition, disagreement, or even explicit disapproval from those in authority. Self-confident people are decisive, without being arrogant or defensive, and they stand by their decisions. While some people seem born with a natural self-assurance, even those are shy or timid can become more bold with practice.
Closely related to self-confidence is self-efficacy, the positive judgment of one’s own capacity to perform. Self-efficacy is not the same as actual skills we have, but rather our belief about what we can do with the skills we have. Skills alone are not enough to guarantee our best performance- we have to believe in our skills in order to use them at their best. One of the common traits of people who lack self-confidence is the paralyzing fear of seeming inept. Another is too easily giving up on their own opinions and judgments, even their good ideas, when challenged. Others include chronic indecisiveness, especially under pressure, shying away from even the smallest risk, and failing to voice even valuable ideas.

GAINING SELF-CONFIDENCE
As the greatest and wisest teachers have always taught, improving the quality of your thoughts improves your life almost immediately:
Ø The Bible quotes King Solomon: 'As a man thinketh, so shall he be.'
Ø The Buddhist text, The Dhammapada, states: 'We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.'
Ø The Greek philosopher Socrates said, 'To find yourself, think for yourself.'
How do you build confidence? One step at a time.
When you take small steps, the anxiety you inevitably feel is more manageable. That's why it's important to have a go at things which you would previously have found scary on a regular basis. Do you find it hard to talk to people? Strike up a conversation with one new person every day! Do you keep quiet even when you have something to say? Speak up! You gain encouragement and feel more confident every time you build on each small success.
Ø Do something practical to expand your self-confidence every day. Take measured risks. Each small step should be accompanied by a clear intention, an affirmation (or change of thinking) and mental rehearsal.
Ø Be prepared. Before taking each step, do your homework. Find out what you need to do, practice the skills and acquire the relevant knowledge. Ninety per cent of the outcome in any activity depends on the quality of the preparation undertaken.
Ø As you tackle each step, use the full ITIA Formula. Use an affirmation such as: I am confident, enthusiastic and fully capable of...(name the step you are about to take). Practice making sentences which start with assertive statements such as 'I can', 'I am', 'I want', '1 do', and 'I choose'.
Ø Mentally rehearse each step. Imagine it done well and 'see' it working out perfectly.
Ø When you think like a confident person you feel more confident and act more confidently, so commit yourself to taking charge of your thoughts. Write this sentence on a small card and repeat it to yourself, with conviction, several times a day: 'I am a positive thinker - I think and talk confidently at all times.'
Ø Consider: Are you a negative thinker? A killjoy? Do you find it difficult to think positively? Does your conversation often take on an air of doom and gloom? This awareness is critical to your well being now and in the future, so be totally honest with yourself.
Ø Promise yourself that from now on you will never: - Tell yourself that you are incapable.
- Put yourself down. - Say you can't.
- Say that what you want is impossible.
Ø 'Yes!' is one of the most powerful affirmations you can make. Say it often, with enthusiasm. Display it in big letters on your Wall of Confidence. Say it whenever a new opportunity comes your way. And try this and notice the difference it makes - say it with relish when you face a difficult problem or challenge.
Ø Practice TFM - Time For Me. Make time for yourself every day, for relaxing, doing as you please, having fun. This sends a powerful message to the subconscious that you deserve it and you're worth it.